Dildos are deceptively complicated. The shelf at the adult shop or the page on the website looks straightforward — pick something approximately the right size, pay, done. But material differences are bigger than most buyers realise, the size that looks "average" online is often larger than what most users actually want, and the shape determines what kind of stimulation the toy is good for. A few minutes of context saves you the disappointment of a R1,200 toy that ends up in a drawer.
Material: the most important variable
Most users underestimate this. Material affects safety, sensation, durability, lube compatibility, and cleaning. The hierarchy:
Body-safe (the only ones to actually buy)
- 100% silicone (medical or platinum-cure grade) — non-porous, easy to clean, durable, body-safe. The default choice for most users. Compatible with water-based lube only (silicone lube degrades silicone toys).
- Borosilicate glass — non-porous, very firm, beautiful, excellent for temperature play (warm or cool the toy under tap water). Heavy. Compatible with all lubes.
- Stainless steel — same advantages as glass, even firmer, holds temperature longer. Compatible with all lubes.
- Hard plastic (ABS) — non-porous, body-safe, cheap. Less popular than silicone or glass but acceptable for some users.
Avoid
- "Jelly" toys — porous, often contain phthalates, can leach chemicals into the body. Common in cheaper toys; visible by the slightly translucent, gummy appearance and chemical smell.
- "Cyberskin," "UR3," "Sensa Feel" — proprietary skin-feel materials. Porous, hard to clean, often degrade quickly.
- PVC and rubber — porous, often contain phthalates.
- Anything that smells strongly of chemicals out of the box. If it smells, it's leaching something.
The rule: if you can't confirm 100% silicone, glass, steel, or hard plastic, don't buy it. The investment in a body-safe toy is worth it — porous toys grow bacteria, can't be properly sanitised, and degrade.
Size: smaller than you think
Dildos online tend to look smaller than they are because there's no reference scale. The most common buyer regret is "I bought too big."
Realistic guidance:
- First-time dildo: 4-5 inches in insertable length, 1.25-1.5 inches in diameter. This is significantly smaller than most "starter" toys advertise, and it's the right size for most first-time users.
- "Average" preferred size for experienced users: 5-6 inches insertable length, 1.5-1.75 inches diameter. Most users settle here.
- Anything larger: a specific preference, not the default. Buying large because you assume "bigger is better" usually results in a toy that's used once and shelved.
The girth (diameter) matters more than the length for most users. A toy that's the right girth and slightly too long is workable; a toy that's too thick is uncomfortable regardless of length.
Shape: the underappreciated variable
Beyond straight phallic shapes, dildos come in shapes that target different things:
Straight or slightly curved
The default. Works for general internal stimulation, easy to use in various positions, broadly compatible. The slight curve (most modern dildos have one) helps angle toward the front wall for partial G-spot stimulation.
Pronounced G-spot curve
A more dramatic curve, often with a bulbous head. Designed specifically to press against the front wall of the vagina. If you respond well to G-spot stimulation, this shape transfers pressure more reliably than a straight toy.
Realistic (textured) shapes
Veined, with a defined glans. The texture adds sensation; some users love it, others find it distracting or "trying too hard." Personal preference.
Smooth/abstract shapes
No realistic features, often just a tapered shape. Often preferred by users who don't want the visual realism, for a variety of reasons. Functionally similar to straight shapes.
Double-ended
For sharing or for solo use of two openings. Design quality varies; the cheap ones flop and don't transfer pressure well, the well-designed ones (often with a hinge) work for partners.
Anal-specific
Either a flared base (non-negotiable for anal toys — without it, the toy can disappear and require a hospital visit) or a specifically tapered shape. Anal toys are always different from vaginal toys in this respect.
Suction-cup base
A flat base with suction is genuinely useful — it lets the toy stick to a hard surface (shower wall, floor, a smooth chair) for hands-free use. Quality varies; cheap suction loses grip quickly. Worth getting on toys you specifically plan to use this way; not essential for general use.
Strap-on compatible
If you want a strap-on, the toy and harness need to be compatible. Most dildos have a flared base specifically for this. O-ring sizes vary; check before buying. Harness selection is its own conversation (compression-style vs strap-style, depending on what's comfortable).
Vibrating dildos
Many modern dildos include a vibration motor. Useful, but adds complexity (rechargeable, more parts that can fail, sometimes harder to clean). If you specifically want vibration, the dual-purpose toys work well; if you want a basic dildo, simpler is more reliable.
The first-purchase recommendation
If you've never bought a dildo before, the safe starting point:
- 100% silicone, medium-firmness
- 4.5-5.5 inches insertable, 1.5 inches diameter
- Slight curve toward the front wall
- Flared base (lets it work as suction-cup or in a harness later)
- Mid-range price (R600-R1,500 in South Africa)
- Reputable brand (njoy, Tantus, Lelo, We-Vibe, Fun Factory, Doc Johnson Vixen)
This combination satisfies the broadest range of preferences and gives you a baseline to learn what you actually like before specialising.
Cleaning and storage
- Silicone: warm water + mild soap, or boil briefly (2-3 minutes) for full disinfection. Air dry. Store in a clean fabric bag (silicone reacts with other silicone, so keep them separated).
- Glass and steel: warm water + mild soap, or dishwasher (top rack, no detergent residue). Can also be boiled.
- Hard plastic: warm soapy water. Don't boil.
- Lube residue: rinse well, otherwise the dried lube becomes sticky and can degrade the surface over time.
Don't store toys directly touching each other in a drawer. Silicone-on-silicone over time can cause both toys to degrade.
Where to buy in South Africa
- Reputable online retailers (Woody's, Adult Toys SA, Wellness Warehouse for some basics)
- Adult shops in major cities (Hush, Adult World)
- International brands' SA distributors (Lelo, We-Vibe ship locally)
Avoid: extremely cheap toys from unbranded online listings (the material claims often aren't accurate), and pop-up "wellness" shops with unverifiable supply chains.
The bottom line
Material is the most important variable (only buy silicone, glass, or steel; avoid jelly and cyberskin). Size should be smaller than you think — most users prefer 5-inch toys with moderate girth. Shape matters: a slight front-curve suits the broadest range of users, and a flared base future-proofs the toy for harness or suction use.
A R900 well-made silicone dildo will outlast a R300 jelly toy by years and feel better the entire time. The dildo aisle isn't an investment, but spending the right amount once is the cheaper path long-term.
